Prophet With Children
Tuesday, 01 April 2008
Written by Abdul-Rahim Ammar
Anas ibn-Malek eloquently described the Prophet (SAWS) and said, “I have never seen anyone more merciful towards children than the Messenger of Allah.”[1]
Indeed one can not help but wonder in awe at the Prophet’s mercy to children, especially in light of the tremendous responsibilities on his shoulders; from running the nation, to leading the army, negotiating with delegations, dealings with companions, supervising every small detail pertaining to the lives of the Muslims. At the same time, the Prophet (SAWS) is receiving the revelation from Allah (SWT), conveying the message of Islam to all and sending Messengers to the kings and rulers of the world calling them to Islam.
A man with such a heavy load of responsibilities and magnitude of consequences yet cares, tremendously, about the wellbeing of the children of his ummah!
This can only be the attitude of a true Prophet.
Our surprise increases when we learn that his merciful attitude was exhibited during a time when the weak and young were never shown kindness or mercy. Some people even considered mercy to be a type of unacceptable weakness, to the point where men would brag about showing no mercy to their own children.
The Prophet (SAWS) kissed al-Hassan ibn-Alei[2] while Al-Aqraa ibn-Habes[3] was in his company.
Al-Aqraa said, I have ten children whom I never even kissed. The Prophet (SAWS) looked at him and said, “He who shows no mercy to the people, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, does not show mercy to him.[4]”
Al-Aqraa thought that being a tough man meant to have a cruel and unfeeling heart, to the extent of not showing compassion and kindness to a child in the form of kissing his own children. But the Prophet (SAWS) answered him in this decisive and effective statement which is not specific to this particular situation but is a general rule for all Muslims to abide by. In a nutshell, he told him that whoever shows no mercy to the people, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, does not show mercy to him.
In another situation, narrated by Lady Aisha[5] (RA), the Prophet (SAWS) asserts the same merciful meaning. Aisha (RA) says, “A Bedouin came to the Prophet and said, ‘You (people) kiss the boys! We don't kiss them.’ The Prophet said, ‘I cannot put mercy in your heart after Allah has taken it away from it.’”[6]
He (SAWS) could not stand the crying or pain of a child.
Abu-Qatada al-Ansarei narrated that the Prophet (SAWS) was praying and he was carrying the daughter of Zaynab, his daughter, when he prostrated, he put her down and when he stood, he carried her (on his neck). [7]
Indeed, in the middle of the most sacred act of worship, prayer, the Prophet (SAWS) is still keen on showing kindness and mercy to his grand daughter. And so he carries her through out the entire prayer.
His mercy to children even made him elongate and shorten prayer in order to make it convenient for children. We see him in a situation where he elongates prostration during a congregational prayer, which is unlike him, in order not to inconvenience a child.
He never used to elongate congregational prayers, hence Shaddad ibnul-Had was surprised when the Prophet (SAWS) did so.
On the other hand, we learn of him hastening the prayer in other circumstances in a show of great mercy to a child.
Anas ibn-Malek (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAWS) said, “I begin prayer and I intend to elongate it then I hear a small child crying, so I hasten my prayer for I know how much pain his mother is in due to his crying.”[8]
The Prophet of Muslims adjusts his and their prayer, without any anger, to be kind and merciful to a small child and his mother!
In another interesting situation, the Prophet (SAWS) cuts his Friday sermon short after seeing two little children tripping and falling.
Al-Hassan and al-Hussein, who were wearing red shirts, were in the mosque and they kept falling and getting up. So the Prophet (SAWS) cut his sermon short, and carried them back to where he was sitting. He then said, “Allah the Almighty said that our wealth and offspring are fitna (a trial) to us, I saw them and I could not wait to hold them.” He (SAWS) then continued the sermon.[9]
The prominent scholar As-Sendei[10] in his explanation of an-Nasaei’e’s book states; “This is an example of the perfection of what Allah (SWT) ordained of mercy.”[11]
In the explanation of the Sunan of abu-Dawood, Awnul-Ma’boud, we found the following, “This situation proves the acceptance of interrupting a sermon due to an occurrence.”[12]
Despite the great significance of the Friday prayer, its sermon, the gathering of Muslim and the triviality of the occurrence; for many children fall often and people rarely take an action. Yet, the Prophet (SAWS) showed mercy which exceeded what people do in similar situation and he interrupted his sermon for the two children. In other situations we find the Prophet (SAWS) making time to play with children. Usama ibn-Zayd[13] (RA) narrated that, “The Prophet (SAWS) used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put al-Hassan ibn-Alei on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, "O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them."[14]
Look at his (SAWS) great mercy consoling a child after his bird died.
Anas ibn-Malek (RA) said that the Prophet (SAWS) used to visit um-Sulaym[15] whose son was nicknamed abu-Omayr (i.e. father of Omayr). One time, The Prophet found him sad. He asked for the reason and was told that his small bird Nughayr [16] died. The Prophet (SAWS) then joked with him and said, “O father of Omayr! What did the Nughayr do?" [17]
The Prophet (SAWS) did not underestimate the feelings of loss and sadness which the little boy felt. He shared his feelings and even joked with him about it to cheer him up. Some may say that abu-Omayr was merely the brother of Anas (RA), who was serving the Prophet (SAWS). Yet that did not deter the Prophet (SAWS) from visiting his home, being kind to him, and learning of his news.
Can you imagine the magnitude of humility and mercy in the Prophet’s heart?
The Prophet (SAWS) paid special attention to the care of girls, since he knew that many Arabs may be inclined to show more attention to their sons over their daughters. Therefore, he taught people the great reward of those who look after or raise daughters.
He (SAWS) said, “Whoever looks after two girls and treats them generously, then he and I will be like this (and he put his fingers together) on the day of judgment.”[18]
And among the signs of his mercy to children was that he never gave them more than they could handle. On the day of the battle of Uhud, some children came up to the Prophet (SAWS) asking to join him for battle but he sent them away due to their young age. Among them were Abdullah ibn-Omar ibnul-Khattab, Usama ibn-Zayd, Osayd ibn-Zuhair, Zayd ibn-Arqam, Arabba ibn-Aws, Amr ibn-Hazm, abu-Saeed al-Khudrei, Saad ibn-Habbah (RA) and many others.[19]
Compare this to the vast numbers of children used in today’s wars worldwide. The United Nations reported that there are more than three hundred thousand children enlisted in armies of twenty countries who are forced to fight.[20]
His care and kindness towards children were not on random occasions but were repeated in many situations. A prime example of his special relationship to children is the fact that children were always in his reception waiting to welcome him whenever he was returning from a journey. When the Prophet (SAWS) saw them, he would talk and joke with them as if he has no other care in the world.
Abdullah ibn-Jaafar ibn-abi-Taalib[21] said, “Whenever the Prophet (SAWS) returned from a journey, he met with the children of his house. One time, he was returning from a journey and I went up to him so he carried me, and someone brought one of Fatima’s (RA) sons, so he sat him behind him. Hence, we entered Madinah the three of us riding together.”[22]
Try to picture this scene, the head of state entering his city carrying a child while another sits behind him!! When the Prophet (SAWS) conquered Makkah and entered it, he was also welcomed with children. However the grave political and strategic situation did not stop him from being kind to them and even carrying them in some cases.
Abdullah ibn-Abbas[23] (RA) said, “When the Prophet (SAWS) entered Makkah, he was welcomed by the children of abdul-Muttaleb, so he carried one between his arms and another on his back.”[24]
In another narration[25] by al-Bukhary, it was mentioned that the children who the Prophet (SAWS) carried were Quthum ibnul-Abbas[26], and al-Fadl ibnul-Abbas[27].
Learning of his mercy and kindness to children, one can only imagine its extent towards orphans. He encouraged Muslims to look after orphans when he said, “I and the person who looks after an orphan and provides for him, will be in Paradise like this,” putting his index and middle fingers together.”[28] He also said, “Whoever helps an orphan to be raised with Muslim parents, eating and drinking with them until he (the orphan) is old enough to be on his own, then he/she will be guaranteed paradise.”[29]
A man came to the Prophet (SAWS) complaining of the cruelty and harshness of his heart. The Prophet (SAWS) said, “Do you wish for your heart to be more tender? Then show mercy to an orphan, pat him on the head, feed him from your food, and your heart will be tender.”[30]
The Prophet (SAWS) warns against being unjust towards orphans or exploiting their weakness and taking away their money. He said, “Avoid the seven great destructive sins.” The people enquired, “O Allah's Apostle! What are they?” He said, “To join others in worship along with Allah, to practice sorcery, to kill the life that Allah has forbidden except for a just cause, (according to Islamic law), to eat up Riba (usury), to eat up an orphan's wealth, to flee from the battlefield at the time of fighting, and to slander chaste women while they are unaware of it.”[31]
He even thinks pragmatically of the future of an orphan, worried about the possible decrease of the value of money. He says, “Whoever is in charge of an orphan who has money, then he should use that money in trade instead of leaving it until it vanishes from paying alms.”[32]
This was one side of his great mercy to children, many more examples can be found in the various books detailing his sunnah.
Most true are Allah’s words in describing our beloved Prophet saying,
“And in no way have We sent you except as a mercy to the worlds.” (TMQ, 21:107).
[1] Anas ibn-Malek al-Ansarei: The Prophet’s servant (butler) who used to attribute himself proudly to the Prophet’s name. He passed away at the age of 93. Usdul-Ghaba, 1/177. Al-Isaba wal-Tarjama, 275.
[2] Al-Hassan ibn-Alei ibn-abu-Taalib al-Hashemei is the grandchild of the Prophet (SAWS). He was born during the month of Ramadan in the year 3 A.H. He ruled after his father’s death then gave up the caliphate to Mu’aweya ibn-abu Sufyan in order to avoid the bloodshed of Muslims. He passed away between the years 49 and 51 A.H. Usdul-Ghaba, 1/556. Al-Isaba wal-Tarjama, 1715.
[3] Al-Aqraa Ibn- Habes is ibn Aqqal al-Tamimei ad-Darhamei. He witnessed the conquest of Makkah, Hunayn, and at-Ta’ef. He is among the people whose hearts are to be reconciled (normally new Muslims or those close to becoming Muslim). He witnessed the conquest of Iraq and Anbar and was among Khaled ibnul-Waleed’s army. Al-Isti’ab, 1/193. Usdul-Ghaba, 1/149. Al-Isaba wal-Tarjama, 229.
[4] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Manners” no. 5667. Also by Muslim no. 2319, abu-Dawood no. 5218, at-Tirmidhy no. 1911 and Ahmad no. 7121.
[5] Aisha the daughter of abu-Bakr as-Siddeeq. Page (2).
[6] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Manners” no. 5652. Also by Muslim no. 2317, ibn-Majah no. 3665 and Ahmad no. 24336.
[7] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Virtues of the Prayer Hall” no. 494. Also by Muslim no. 543, abu-Dawood no. 917, Malek no. 410, Muhammad ash-Shaybanei no. 287 and Ad-Daremei no. 1359.
[8] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Congregation and Leading Prayer” no. 677. Also by ibn-Majah no. 989, ibn-Khuzaymah no. 1610, ibn-Hebban no. 2139, abu-Ya’lei no. 3144 and al-Bayhakei no. 11054.
[9] Abu-Dawood no. 1109, at-Tirmidhy no. 3774, an-Nasaei’e no. 1413, ibn-Majah no. 3600, Ahmad no. 23045, ibn-Khuzaymah no. 1456, ibn-Hebban no. 6038, al-Hakem no. 1059 and al-Albany listed it as authentic.
[10] Abu-Maashar as-Sendei is a prominent scholar of Ahadeeth who wrote ‘al-Maghazy’. He is originally from south east Asia but relocated to Madinah. He has great knowledge of jurisprudence and history. He passed away in Baghdad in the year 170 A.H. The Caliph Harun ar-Rasheed prayed for him. Seyar Aalan an-Nubala’, 7/435. Al-‘Alam by az-Zakalei, 8/14.
[11] As-Sendei: Explanation of the Sunan of an-Nasaei’e, 3/108.
[12] Muhammad Shamsul-Haqq Abbady at-Tayyeb: Awnul-M’aboud, 3/322.
[13] Usama ibn-Zayd ibn-Haretha al-Kalbei was appointed by the Prophet (SAWS) to lead the army before turning eighteen years of age. Omar (RA) respected and revered him. He abandoned the political debates after the assassination of Othman (RA). He passed away in Madinah in the year 58 or 59 A.H. Al-Isti’ab, 1/170. Usdul-Ghaba, 1/91. Al-Isaba wal-Tarjama, 89.
[14] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Good Manners and Form” no. 5657. Also by ibn-Hebban no. 6961 and an-Nasaei’e no. 8184.
[15] Um-Sulaym’s original name is Sahla or al-Umaysa’. She is the mother of Anas ibn-Malek. She converted to Islam with her tribe and married abu-Talha al-Ansarei. She passed away during the caliphate of Mu’aweya in the year 40 A.H. Al-Isaba wal-Tarjama, 12066.
[16] A small bird with a red beak.
[17] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Good Manners and Form” no. 5850. Also by Muslim no. 2150, abu-Dawood no. 4969 and at-Tirmidhy no. 333.
[18] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by Muslim in the book of “Kindness and Manners” no. 2631. Also by at-Tirmidhy no. 1914, al-Hakem no. 7350 and al-Bukhary, a-Adab al-Mufrad, 894.
[19] Safeyu-Rahman al-Mubarakfoury: The Sealed Nectar, 228.
[20] Study on social status by the United Nations issued in the year 2005. Page 121.
[21] The first Muslim born in Ethiopia after his parents migrated in 1 A.H. He went to Iraq and the Levant and was known for his generosity that he was called ‘The sea of generosity’. Poets have written poems praising his kindness and manners. Usdul-Ghaba, 3/93. Al-Alaam by az-Zakalei, 4/76.
[22] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by Muslim in the book of “Merits of the Companions of the Prophet (SAWS)” no. 2428. Also by al-Bayhakei no. 10154 and an-Nasaei’e no. 4246.
[23] He was the Prophet’s (SAWS) cousin. He was very knowledgeable. He was born three years before migration to Makkah. And he passed away in the year 68 A.H. Usdul-Ghaba, 3/185. Abu-Dawood no. 1940, an-Nasaei’e no. 3064, ibn-Majah no. 3025, Ahmad no. 2842 and ibn-Hebban no. 3869.
[24] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Minor Pilgrimage (Umrah)” no. 1704. Also by abu-Dawood no. 1940, an-Nasaei’e no. 3064, ibn-Majah no. 3025, Ahmad no. 2842 and ibn-Hebban no. 3869.
[25] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Clothing” no. 5621.
[26] Quthum Ibnul-Abbas (RA) is the Prophet’s cousin and he looked like the Prophet (SAWS). When Alei ibn-abu-Taalib (RA) became Caliph, he appointed him to rule Makkah. He died a martyr during the caliphate of Mu’aweya. Al-Isaba wal-Tarjama, 7080. Usdul-Ghaba, 4/85.
[27] Al-Fadl Ibnul-Abbas (RA) is the Prophet’s (SAWS) cousin, and is the oldest of al-Abbas’s children. He conquered Makkah and Hunayn with the Prophet (SAWS). He was steadfast when people were defeated. He was martyred on the day of Agnadeen on the 13th year A.H. Usdul-Ghaba, 2/62. Al-Isaba wal-Tarjama 7002.
[28] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Good Manners and Form” no. 5659. Also by abu-Dawood no. 5150, at-Tirmidhy no. 1918, Ahmad no. 22871 and ibn-Hebban no. 460.
[29] By Ahmad no. 19047, al-Bukhary in al-Adab al-Mufrad no. 78, at-Tabarany in al-Kabir no. 670 and abu-Ya’lei no. 926.
[30] At-Tabarany. Authenticated by al-Albany. Sahih al-Targheeb wal-Tarheeb. 2/676.
[31] Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book of “Wills and Testaments” no. 2615. Also by Muslim no. 89, abu-Dawood no. 2874, an-Nasaei’e no. 3671 and ibn-Hebban no. 5561.
[32] At-Tirmidhy no. 641, Malek no. 329 and al-Bayhakei no. 10764.
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