Humane beauty in good manners

Sunday, 02 January 2011

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Written by Dr. Ragheb Elsergany

Introduction

Good manners are the meaning the humans had sought and looked forward for a long time since the emergence of philosophers in the past. They imagined this meaning would prevail, so they wrote about Utopia. But when it seemed an impossible dream, the world is now calling for this meaning under the name of 'humanity'.

The term 'humanity' in the Western sense correlates with 'mercy' or 'compassion' in the Islamic terminology. Actually 'mercy' is only part of good manners in Islam, because it is more comprehensive. Good meanness encompass patience, endurance of harms, and support of the rights. Al-Harith al-Muhasiby said: "Endurance of harms for the sake of Allah is a sign of good manners, together with suppression of anger, supporting the people of the truth, pardon, and forgiveness of mistakes."[1] Imam al-Ghazaly says: "Good manners are not to abstain from wronging others, but rather to endure the harm (of others)."[2]

Virtue of good manners

Allah (Exalted and Glorified be He) praised His Messenger (peace be upon him) for his good manners. Allah says: "And thou (standest) on an exalted standard of character." [al-Qalam (The Pen) 68:4]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) rendered the good manners as a criterion for distinguishing between the Muslims in terms of Iman (faith); the most perfect among Muslims in respect of faith is also the best in good manners. Al-Bazzar related on the authority of Anas Ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The most perfect believer in respect of faith is he who is best of them in manners, and a person with good conduct will attain the rank of one who fasts and prays."[3]

·       The dearest to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and nearest to him in the Day of Resurrection will be the best in manners. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "The dearest to me among you and nearest to me on the Day of Judgment will be one who is best among you in conduct."[4]

·       Nothing will outweigh good manners in the Balance in the Day of Resurrection. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "Nothing will be placed in the Balance (in the Day of Resurrection) heavier than good conduct."[5]

·       Good manners will be the foremost to admit a man to Paradise. "The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked what deed will be foremost to admit a man to Paradise. He replied: 'Fear of Allah and good conduct.' Then he was asked what deed will be foremost to admit a man to the (Hell) Fire? He replied: 'The two hollow things (i.e. the tongue and the private parts).'"[6]

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) summarizes his mission in the world, saying: "I was only sent to perfect good character."[7]

"This means that the Message, which has drawn up its course in the history of life and whose man has exerted strenuous effort to carry its light everywhere and gathered peoples around it, only advocates strengthening their virtues and lightening horizons of perfection for them, so that they should move forward on sure knowledge."[8]

Good manners are the goal of Islam

Good manners, which color the world with beauty and treatment of people with mercy, kindness and goodness, are the goal and end of Islam. To achieve this objective the Prophet (peace be upon him) encountered much sufferings and dangers, and judgments and rulings were ordained by Allah (Exalted and Glorified be He).

The following are some definitive texts to this effect:

-         "…for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds" [al-`Ankabut (The Spider) 29:45]

-          "Of their goods, take alms, that so thou mightest purify and sanctify them." [al-Tawbah (Repentance) 9:103]

-         "Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint," [al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:103]

-         "Whoever does not give up forged speech and evil actions, Allah is not in need of his leaving his food and drink (i.e. Allah will not accept his fasting.)"[9]

-          "If any one undertakes that duty therein, Let there be no obscenity, nor wickedness, nor wrangling in the Hajj." [al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:197]

-         A man said: "O Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)! A woman is known for her much performance of Prayer, fasting and giving alms, but she annoys her neighbors with her tongue." He said: "She will be in Hell-fire." The man said: "A woman is known for less performance of Prayer, fasting and giving alms; she even gives pieces of cheese in charity, but she does not annoy her neighbors with her tongue." He said: "She will be in Paradise."[10]

-         "Sawm (Fasting) is not to abstain from eating and drinking, but rather to abstain from behaving foolishly and impudently and avoid (sexual) obscenities, and if somebody fights with you or abuses you, you should tell him twice, 'I am fasting."[11] 

-         See also how the Prophet (peace be upon him) swears three times on a crucial issue. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "By Allah he does not believe [perfectly], by Allah he does not believe [perfectly], by Allah he does not believe [perfectly]." He was asked: "O Messenger of Allah, who is that person who losses?" He said: "That person whose neighbor does not feel safe from his evil."[12]

Here, the Prophet (peace be upon him) does not mean that the person who harms their neighbor is not a believer, but the person whose neighbor does not feel safe of their evil. It is good manners that are meant in this hadith. Someone may feel safe or not from their neighbor according to his behaviors and manners in general. The Prophet (peace be upon him) does not speak about someone who does wrong and harms his neighbor, but about a person whose behaviors do not reassure the neighbors to feel safe of his evils.

Such a great gesture that is unprecedented in history or in the ideas of the human beings. Yes… it is the religion of Allah, and Revelation of Heaven.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) portrayed a picture of a man of his nation, who was praying and fasting and spending, but his manners were not good. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said such a person would not be admitted to Paradise in the Day of Resurrection; rather he would enter Hell-fire. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) asked (the Companions): "Do you know who is poor (or bankrupt)?" They said: "A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth." The Prophet said: "The poor of my Ummah (nation) would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakah but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of those (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then their sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire."[13]

This bankrupt person did not achieve the goal…the end. "A child may be able to imitate the acts of Prayer and repeat its words, and an actor may be able to show submission in the most important rituals, but nothing of this can dispense with sound certainty or noble objective."[14]

Through such directives and education, the Islamic civilization has formulated beauty in life, expressed by Muslim scholars by saying: "A person of good manners feels comfort and the people around him feel safety, whereas a person of bad manners is in trouble and the people around him are in distress."[15]

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